Whether it’s from passing away, or from paths just separating to follow different courses, saying goodbye can prove a very difficult and tolling undertaking.

Let’s begin with the former: living on after someone dear to you leaves this life. Religious beliefs aside, certainty in their living on can be found in their presence within your thoughts, the things you observe, your recalling of memories with them, and about them, etc. Even in your reflection, as articulated in this song HERE, as well as depicted in the quote below:

This sentiment is further elaborated upon in the poem Death is nothing at all by Henry Scott Holland, a copy of which can be found by clicking HERE. I think it is particularly applicable when there is no ‘unfinished business’ between two people; when they have lived through all, or at least a lot, of what they wanted to experience together. If you know somebody so well that you often know their thoughts and feelings before they express them, perhaps saying goodbye is not as difficult as when that is not the case.

And for most people, I think it is not the case of knowing the inner-workings of another person’s internal gears to that extent. For, with my friends and family, even those whom I know very well, I frequently find myself surprised at their opinions and reflections on all manner of things. Hence, the disparity between an echo and an actively speaking voice is one I constantly dwell on and struggle with. Though some have a low regard for modern music, I find the lyrics below of Arcade Fire’s Supersymmetry very thought provoking:

I know you’re living in my mind.
It’s not the same as being alive.
. . .
Heard a voice, like an echo.
But it came from me.

One thing we can take solace from in this situation is the wish of this very dear person, from whom love never dissipated, to continue living with us in a state of reasonable health. It is not much, but peace and comfort need to be acquired to whatever extent they can be. And when lives part not due to passing away, but rather due to a deviation in paths, I think all of the above applies too. In this latter case, the temptation to let emotion overwhelm you into tarnishing what you had by speaking out on impulse with words that, in the greater scheme of things, you did not really mean to say, is a hard urge to overcome, but one that allows a positive impression to linger, regardless of the situation that led to the goodbye, and can thus deem all of the above applicable to that relationship too.

What are your thoughts and experiences on these topics? You can write them, anonymously or not, in the comments section below.

Also, this post comprises generic statements, but one specific story with a looming farewell central to it is the film Call me by your name, which I wrote about HERE.

All the best to you all, and take care of yourselves.