In Western cultures, wherein concepts of beauty and youth are inextricably linked, a certain scepticism can arise when attention directed from a young man towards someone a bit older is given. Is a dismissal of such an advance ungrounded? This post will delve into the two key opposing mindsets in answer to this question.

It cannot be denied that gold diggers exist. And perhaps even a somewhat significant portion of younger man seeking out older men comprise this group. But that is certainly not the case for all young men. So how can this be discerned?

If it is the first contact, or a quick fling, I really don’t think there’s a great deal to worry about – if he fancies you and that feeling is reciprocated, then go for it! What have you got to lose? If you are wanting to take things further though, it could be worth your while to read on…

One key question to ask during the dating phase is: does he expect me to pay for everything? Or is he paying his share? As someone with experiences being a ‘younger for older’ type who’s never been a gold digger, I have often made a point to pay for my older companion, particularly because I think the reversal of the clichéd stereotype is really sweet.

To further clarify this opinion: shouting a younger man something from time to time is one thing, but if that becomes the expectation, and should dates continue without him ever offering to do the same – that’s a red flag right there.

I strongly contend that casually bringing the topic up for an open and honest conversation at some point is just practical. It allows each man to communicate his position, so you both know what you’re getting into, and have a sort of ground zero for whatever develops from there. A man in an early phase of his life has inevitably had less opportunity to rake in a fortune, or even just set himself up in a stable financial situation, then a man a few decades older has had. Perhaps in this context, mentoring a young man, with or without financial help, is something that appeals to you. The possibilities (not obligations) are all yours. As long as it’s ‘all cards on the table’, I think.

In the same way that young people should not exploit dear little old sweeties, the inverse should also not be practiced. The act of keeping someone around for their most sought-after years, and keeping them dependent through lacking education during that time, until throwing them out once they reach a certain age, is nothing but appalling (and there are many cases out there of this type of thing happening). If you care about someone, and think it’s worthwhile going into a relationship with them, then perhaps in a near future they’ll make even more than you and want to put that towards your life together. Who knows!

In any case, the first steps in developing something with someone usually present minimal risk factors. And if the steps that follow are proceeded towards with open eyes, then I see no reason to abstain from a relationship or other form of contact that could make you happy and/or bring you pleasure, be it only in the short-term or not.

But those are just my thoughts. What are your thoughts? One thing that is not just a thought, but a guarantee, is that the high-level attraction that many feel towards a hot older man (as defined in the eyes of the beholder) is very real, valid, and genuine! I hope this post helps you discern if someone’s admiration falls into that category.

All the best!