Benidorm bonito – ‘beautiful Benidorm’ – the lyrics to the song you will hear constantly when you are there, found here with even more pictures of the town than that included in this post.

Ok, so it is pretty beautiful. I visited over Dec – Jan when it wasn’t chockers, as us Australians say, or full, as others say, compared to how I hear it gets in Summer, but there was still a good number of people around. Weather-wise I found it was nice: enormous blue skies, varying between 20 degrees (day) and 10 degrees (night).

Benidorm is known for being a real British-expat town, but while you may find more Brits here than in other Spanish towns, they nevertheless comprise a minority; this place is still strongly and proudly Spanish. Most of the holiday-goers come from Madrid and frequently do so. Knowing some Spanish, which is an awesome language and very worthwhile learning, will definitely come in handy in Benidorm.

The town is also a bit renowned for its buildings, often with a negative connotation attached, but it is no Gold Coast/Miami, and as you can see, there is a natural side to be appreciated. There are great beach promenades that stretch on for kilometres and, being very flat, are great for walking. The old-town is hilly, at times quite steep. For that reason, Benidorm is sort of a capital for mobility scooters. You will see them everywhere – fun! But other than that, the only hill you are likely to encounter is the slight slope on the way to New Incognito disco, nicknamed ‘heart-attack-hill’ by those with a dark sense of humour (it’s really not as bad as that label might otherwise suggest).

And that brings us to our next section: describing the places to stop and have a squiz at (Australian lingo again – you’re welcome) while you’re there!

New Incognito Disco

A gay disco with mature-age men, the vast majority of whom are interested in other mature-age men (the same could be said in general about the entire town actually). Accordingly, there are plenty of chairs to take a seat when you’re not on the floor – set up like the seats of a theatre wherein the dance floor is the stage.

I encountered only one non-Spanish person at this place. I don’t understand why – as it’s an oldies’ disco, so while the music won’t burst your eardrums, it won’t permit much chatting either (hence any language barrier ought not to be a grand issue here). Apart from an expensive bar, the main room, the bathroom, there is also one room with a screen showing porn films, another with a screen showing football or something of that nature, both also with copious chairs of course, and a dark room with 3 private rooms at the back – so hopefully your Spanish is good enough to lure someone you like into there, if that’s your thing, but not a lot of verbal communication is usually needed in such an endeavour.

Most people start turning up at this disco after 10pm. Until that point, they’ve usually spent a couple hours halfway up ‘heart-attack-hill’ (which, again, is just a slope), at the:

JJ Bar

A better place to have a conversation. Again, mainly a Spanish speaking crowd, but there are a few more English expats dispersed among them. One of the two bar tenders working there when I visited was English. This bar also tends to a mature aged crowd, most of whom are interested in other mature men.

The best thing to do is to get your drink and go for a walk around. Apart from the above featured lounges near the entrance, there are a couple of different screens playing football (it does have a bit of a sports-bar feel), then one showing porn videos, a dark area which apparently has a private room in it, but that I guess was hard to find/occupied in my experiences there, and a couple bathrooms which hence end up serving a second purpose.

The venue used to include a sauna, but it does not anymore. They found there was not enough of a cross-over between the sauna and bar ambiences, so they scrapped the former. People normally turn up at around 7 to 8pm, and a lot head to New Incognito after that, at about 10-11pm, but not all.

Hotel Tanit Cafe

You will see a lot of familiar faces in this cafe if you have been to the JJ bar and/or the New Incognito disco during your stay. There isn’t a lot to do in Benidorm, which makes it relaxing. And as a result, the daily itinerary is often 1) this cafe, 2) the JJ bar, 3) the New Incognito disco.

To be clear, this is the hotel cafe that is being referred to. It has big glass windows at a corner across from the beach and at one entrance to the old town. The hotel part itself was closed during the time I was there. I suppose it could be a good choice for accommodation though, allowing you to cut to the chase and take someone you like straight up from the cafe to your room if you please, but then again the hotel I stayed at (the Mar Blau) was only a short walk away anyway, as are several other hotels.

If you want to fit in here, I recommend ordering a ‘cortado’, which will only set you back € 1.40. The cafe is most frequented mid-morning and mid to late afternoon. The New Incognito group also has a cafe, but I found this one to be the place to go.

Jimmy’s Bar

Last but not least is a bar where you are likely to meet a good looking mature man who speaks English! Located in the old town, this bar is just across the street from another gay bar, and nearby countless others. And Jimmy is an extremely nice guy himself. Really very friendly. Also, although not having yet had the benefit of growing better with old age, it must be said that he’s a good looking young chap, and provides a very welcoming space for older gents!

To get to the finer details: it’s open every day from 7 pm till 1 am. There are likely to be guests there at any time you decide to go. And there is music, but it’s still possible to have a conversation.

An end note about the gay bars in Benidorm: there are lots of them. And even with some of them closed in the winter, I wasn’t able to get around to every open one. These are the ones known to draw a mature aged crowd which, surprise surprise, I have some recountable experiences at, and can thus recommend.

Conclusion

There is a lot of fun to be had in Benidorm. It is a spot with stunning coastal scenery, even more so for those who appreciate an older man. And if you are an older man yourself, you will be treasured just as you ought to be here! If you are a younger man, fret not, there are enough ‘older-for-youngers’ left over from the majority for you to have a fun and busy time!

Prices in the winter are great. I paid just over 50 euros a night for a room with a sea view in a perfect location. A three course menu with a glass of wine for around € 14 was easy to find. The weather was too cold for a swim, but otherwise pleasant. And there was a good number of people, without it being summer-time crowded.

It must be said, that culturally Benidorm has very little to offer. I circumvented this issue by bringing a couple of books with me. But if you are wanting museums, galleries, etc, you’ll be let down. Benidorm is a great place to relax, with little on your schedule, other than enjoying the nature, going for a stroll, following the crowd for some nice night-life, to then rinse and repeat.

If that sounds good to you, then I highly recommend this town! If you have experiences in Benidorm you wish to share in the comments below, I for one would enjoy reading about them.

Best regards to you all!